Ramblings

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect present comes from heaven; it comes down from God, the Creator of the heavenly lights, who does not change or cause darkness by turning.18 By his own will he brought us into being through the word of truth, so that we should have first place among all his creatures.

Todays exercise in my bible study book was very interesting. You were to divide your life into quarters to see what the gifts that had been given to you were. Like I said very interesting but it was very eye opening at the same time! I did enjoy looking back to see where the gifts that I have received from God were in each stage of my life.

I titled this blog ramblings because I am in that kind of mood..lol I watched the "My 600 pound story" on TLC last night. Talk about eye opening. It was so very good to see this woman who had went from 600 pounds down to 157 and she was so sad. Her fears are the same as mine. I am going to do all of this work to only gain it all back. But that is so not a reason to even try and it is very sad that I would even think like that but I do. I get right to that teeter 299 point and get freaked out and I do what next?? Gain it all back. Sheesh! What an idiot I am! What am I so afraid of? I know I have a blog somewhere that I have asked that before. So what is it??

Dear God, I pray for wisom. I want to know why I am so afraid all the time. Why am I so afraid to be devoted to myself and loose this unwanted weight? Why do I always go backwards when I desperatly want to go forwards and backwards on the scale?? Please God help me to see the goodness in all people and be loving towards all of those that I come in contact with, even the ones that aren't so very nice. I love you so much! Amen.