2012

Philippians 3:13-14 - Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


As we come to an end of another year it is saddening and happy all at the same time. 2011 was a good year. Saw the miracle of my nephews brought into this world. That was the biggest news of the year I suppose. John made it through his surgery fine and we are doing well. What more can a girl ask for?? I do want to press on into 2012 with a vengeance of sacrifice. Putting limitations on myself for a sacrifice of myself to God. Sacrificing food and giving more to God. I am hoping that I can find the strength to stay away from the foods I know I am not supposed to eat. And to have the energy and will power to exercises like I am supposed to.

I do have all of the resources but why do I always make excuses?? I am so sick of it!


"A verse I came across on a blog at the beginning of my weight loss journey is 1 Corinthians 6:12..."Everything is permissible for me-but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me-but I will not be mastered by anything." Of course this could apply to any area in our lives but I think of this verse a lot when I'm reaching for that extra helping or that" not so good for my body" treat. Do I really need it? Who really is my master? How am I treating my body?" I just came across this while looking up encouraging bible verses. I think it says what I am trying to say and will be good for me to use as fodder for my blog tomorrow! Time for bed!

Thank you God for new years and new transitions. Thank you for your perfect plan. Please watch over my family and especially JCS that he feel better soon! In Your precious name I pray. Amen.

Revelation 1

17 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18 I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.


I was dead and now look, I am alive for ever and ever. I hold the keys to my own destiny of God's plan. I hold the key and the tools within me to change my outlook on life. To stop being so depressed and stop the things I know I am not supposed to do. To stop eating uncontrollably. It would be better if I could remember that everyday and not eat what I know I shouldn't!

I didn't do very good yesterday with my Think idea. But the great thing is with Jesus I get another chance at so many things that right now I feel like I am taking advantage of. I shouldn't take anyday for granted and live everyday to the fullest. How easy that is to forget. How precious life is and we are only in our earthly bodies for such a short time compared to the eternity that we get to spend with Jesus. So shouldn't I be encouraged to take care of my earthly body so that I can walk with Jesus everyday in spirit and then when I have lived the longest life I can, walk with Him everday in heaven.

Dear God, Thank you for all of your blessings. You know the frustrations of my mind and heart and please calm them to be more focused to you. Help me to see what I am missing by not being healthy. I pray for all of those hurting this time of year-struggling with loss or to much gain. I pray that You are with all of us that call Your name to the heavens in Glory! Amen

Romans 5

1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.


Perseverance....Why do I lack perseverance? Why can't I stop eating!! This is really driving me crazy! I don't even feel hungry I just eat. It is insatiable! I am not sure what to do at this point. I want to pick myself up and find my want to again. I want to find the encouragement that I have had in the past to succeed. Why doing it for my health and my life doesn't seem to be enough I will never understand, but this is not a new problem. This is the same problem that I have always had! I need to find my want to! I need to be audacious in my perseverance towards my goal of being health. Eating all the time is NOT the path that I want to be on. It is so easy for me to justify eating things I know I shouldn't. Or not exercising like I know I should. I don't want to be this unhealthy person anymore. I want to have kids and a life full of the things that I have always wanted to do but was always to scared to do because of my weight.

Where do I find this motivation? It has to come from within. Just like the Holy Spirit that lives in me I need to find my inner strength to stop putting everything I pass in my mouth! I want to succeed. I want to have kids. I want to have healthy kids. I want to not be fat anymore!

Dear God please show me the perseverance that I have within me. Show me the will power that I know that I have deep down somewhere. Help me to crave You and not everything else that is being shoveled into my mouth without resolution or satisfaction. Help me to pause before I eat to think of what the consequences will be in the long term and if it is justified in the short term. I pray for strength and help for me when I am weak! Amen.

Distractions Abound!

Luke 12: 22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?


So last week there were plenty of distractions that kept me from my blog. I guess the biggest side track was that mom and dads computer didn't work and we weren't at my brothers where I could write my blog. But that shouldn't have stopped me from continuing with the advent study. I did it for the first couple of days but as more family showed up I got more and more distracted.

I guess the important thing is that I am returning with new focus and eager to start a new bible study. I am borrowing a book from my grandmother that I think will be interesting to read. "Really Bad Girls of the Bible". Since I worry about so many thing and worry about my past bad girl ways I thought the passage from Luke appropriate. No matter what you have been through God can use what you have to make you a story of His neverending grace and love.

Thank you God for sending reminders that even though we may have faltered in the past that You are always the constant that brings us back to our focus of You and Your words! Thank you for the great week we had last week, to share the birth of Your Son for us. I so needed the time spent with my family and loved every minute of it. It was so filled with peace-when I felt that something wasn't going right I prayed and you soothed my tongue. So that I wouldn't start something to cause a disagreement. Thank You God for loving me even when I worry and even when I get distracted from Your word! Amen.

The focus of Christmas

This is the first year that I have done an advent devotional everyday for the season of Advent and it has helped me so much keep the focus on what really matters this season in my life than any other. I want to keep this focus in the New Year and have more focus towards getting healthy )yes once again). If I had already succeeded then I wouldn't be in the place I want to for my "Two Journeys One Road". I still think that is a great title of a book that could inspire anyone who reads it. To be on 2 journeys-One with Jesus and One to "One-derland" (The movie "That Thing You Do" is correct it doesn't look like Wonderland-it looks like the character says it does which doesn't convey very well into words...)

I hope that while I am home I am not distracted by them to now set aside a few minutes of each day to continue my devotional and journey to the manager with this guide. I know I will go to church on Sunday with my family and on Christmas Eve probably to hear the story of the birth but I don't want to miss the journey that He is taking me on right now by being distracted by the things that don't really matter.

Thank you God for bringing the manger to Christmas so that we can focus on the true meaning of Your gift of Your Son. Please focus my mind and heart on His birth so every part of my Christmas celebration will be more meaningful. Amen.

Doing what God wants us to do

PC did a sermon a while back about Ministry being misunderstood. Throughout the Bible there are examples of God's works being misunderstood and misinterpreted as evil. When Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead is when they decided He was being to powerful and would over take the king and was when He was put to death. The Sanhedrin feared Jesus the way that God wants us to fear Him, their actions were providential however as Jesus was sent to us to die to save the world. I am sure they thought their actions were their own but they weren't. Even when they thought they were doing evil by saving their world their were actually doing Gods work to save the rest of the world and generations to come. Now I know that is my own interpretation but I am going to ask PC his opinion..lol.

OK so I sent the email. We will see if I am on the right track! I am really enjoying my daily walk with my thoughts and with Jesus and am so proud of myself that I have been able to keep it up this long! I am hoping that I will still be able to over vacation next week! I am going to try really hard!

Thank you God for this season! I am so excited to go home and pray for safe travels for us and all that are traveling this time of year. I thank you for cleansing me daily (or minutely) for my sins! I pray for healing for John and Susie and all of the other people who are hurting physically and emotionally! Let Your peace be there medicine! Amen

Why ask Why

Psalm 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.

Both my weekly bible study and the advent one I have been doing this season of Advent reminds me to rejoice. Rejoice when there is death and suffering. Rejoice when I don't understand what God's plan is and get frustrated to continue obedience to the One who gave all of us life. Rejoice no matter what circumstances we encounter.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances.

Sometimes that is really hard. I have to remember to rejoice and trust God that He is in the perfect control of things. That it is in His perfect plan that I feel pain. That I feel sadness. I must continue to be obedient to Him even if I feel He isn't being "obedient" to me. I did mention that to JA when I was so frustrated a few weeks ago and even said "Why do I expect God to be obedient to me when I haven't been obedient to Him". Pretty powerful words from an ordinary girl. But as I learned on Sunday God uses us for His glory when we don't even know it. He can take our ordinariness (I don't even know if that is a word, guess I will find out when I do spell check) and make our story out of it that Glorifies Him.

I know in my heart now that it was God's plan that I move here to Pensacola, and I still feel that it is God's plan that John and I move. I still am waiting to hear that it isn't the right time to move but nothing He has put in my path has contradicted it, it just hasn't been moving as fast as I want it to. But it is all in His perfect timing. Not mine!

Thank you God for sending Your son into a world of imperfection, to be a light to the world that we may know You more and restore our worlds to a perfect place in Your site. Amen.

Waiting for Christmas

I have always thought myself as a patient person. Until the time arises that things aren't moving as fast as I want them to. I am working on that, but it is very hard. I know everything happens in Gods perfect plan and He is the pilot of the ship of life but I can't help the tendencies to take the wheel! When will I learn that I can't pilot the ship of my life or anyone elses and that God is the ultimate pilot. Even though He may steer us into the clouds and darkness it is all part of His ultimate plan that we can't always be in the sunshine and roses section or we wouldn't be able to see His glory shine through.

He has to bring is to the darkness so that we will seek Him. He has to bring us to the desert like He did the Israelites so that we will seek His glory and see Him work in our lives. If we were always happy and got everything we needed at the moment we thought we needed it it wouldn't give glory to the One who deserves it.

Reminds me of the story of the original St. Nicholas. The man who just gave bags of gold to a man that was having to sell his daughters into slavery because he didn't have the money for a dowry until the money just showed up anonymously and the man prayed thanking God for the money until the third time it happened and he stopped St. Nicholas and asked why he was doing that and he simply told him that he wanted the glory to go to God that is why he did it anonymously. Such a great story to be reminded of the goodness of some people and the selfishness of others. I try not to be selfish but it is so hard!

Dear God help me to be reminded of the gifts you have given me and my family. Thank you for the darkness so that all may see your glory. Thank you for the quiet in times when I want to panic and be anxious. Thank you for loving me and providing the life and plan that You wish me to have! Amen

Defining the past

Yesterday PC gave an eye opening sermon of the genealogy of Jesus. Found in the first chapter of Matthew it was amazing to see the women that were mentioned in the lineage of Jesus and how God used them for the ultimate gift.

Reminds me of my gifts and that I shouldn't discount myself as a person who can't share the good news of Jesus. Take Mary for example, just a simple ordinary person who was a teenager and hadn't lived much until the angel of Lord came to her and rocked her whole world. There is a song I was listening to right before my computer decided to be wonky, that is all about Joseph and "Why me". Why did God choose these ordinary people to bring to the world His greatest gift.

During my testimony I can see how God has used my past to define my future. But it is not definitive of my identity. That is the part that I need to remember. My past has shaped me (literally and figuratively) but it doesn't define who I am. I think he has given this sermon before because I remember blogging to something similar to this before. Or maybe I am just having de javu! God knew I needed to hear it again!

Thank you God for all of your blessings. I pray for the correct words and confidence to complete the interview I have today. I feel that it is part of your plan that we move and I am ready to follow where you lead me. I love you so much and thank you for your fist of Jesus, no matter how He came to us, You saw the people that society had discarded and let their story be a part of the most beautiful gift of all. Help me to remember that my past has brought me to where I am in Your glory and showed me that You are the only one that can undo what I have become!

Empty Fluff

Christmas time is here again and I am so ready to see my family. The bible study from yesterday was about empty fluff and how packages at the mall were so pretty and all wrapped up but empty boxes. Then the gifts they got at home were not as pretty and in newspaper but had the toys that they wanted in them.

I am so glad that I am full of love and wrapped in newspaper versus being gorgeous on the outside and nothing on the inside. Reminds me of the scene in The Truth About Cats and Dogs where Uma Thurman has ordered a HUGE piece of chocolate cake and says to Jeanne Garafalo that she doesn't eat. She loves to order and loves menus but doesn't eat food because of the calories. That you are what you eat and that she eats nothing so that she can be pretty on the outside but then nothing on the inside. Do I eat all the stuff I know I am not supposed to because of this theory? Do I eat chocolate so I can be sweet? Do I eat potatoes so I can be fluffy?

In the last bible study we did (which i want to restart after Christmas) there was a phrase that stuck out You crave what you eat. So if you stop eating the stuff that makes you the way you are then you will crave the things that you are eating.

Once you are in worship with God you crave to learn more. Once you have changed your life to that of following Jesus you want more. Friday was so great spending time with all of our Life Group friends. I love going to our Life Group and talking about Jesus and Gods love with others. I hope when we move we can find a church family as great as the one we have here!

Thank you God for all of your blessings. Thank you for giving us the greatest gift of all with out all of the frills and nonsense to take away from the true gift of Love and Grace that is Your Son. I cherish the gift that has been given and want to know more about it. I crave for knowledge and love and grace. I crave to listen for Your word and follow where you lead me and my family. I love you son much! Amen

Naughty List

Jesus has come to make our way to eternal life. He has repaid with His life all of the naughty things we could ever have done. All we have to do is repent. It really is that easy, I used to question the simplicity of it all but that is what it all boils down to. We have to accept that Jesus died for us. We have to witness God's works in our lives, share them with others. Share how much God has done for us in our lives. Gods plan is in His perfect timing. No matter what we do to try to "help" God, seriously do we need to do that! Gods plan is what it is and it is up to us to listen and follow where God sends us.

What is laid on my heart, what is my following of God look like? It is different for everyone but I know that I try everyday to follow God. When I feel like I have fallen short, or tried to circumvent the situation and the it turns out just as frustrating is when I get guilty and sad that I haven't properly followed what God's plan for me is. I need to learn patience!

Why is that so hard for me?? I have really been a patient person in lots of aspects but I just think people should move faster when I want them to, hence the previous blog about being a 2 year throwing a tantrum!

Dear God I love you so much. Thank you for granting me patience in areas of my life. I pray for continued strength and patience in the next chapter as well. I know you will see us through this transition and it will go smoothly according to your plan. Thank you for providing for us and making our ways straight. I pray that John and I continue to journey the straight path and give You all of the glory! Amen

Blogging

So I have been doing really well this week with my blog-I get it is only day 4 but there have been times I have started and then all of sudden it is day 2 and I have nothing to say. I did have a great idea yesterday of a blog and then I didn't write it down so I don't remember what it was..

It is funny that in the advent devotional I am doing today the title is "Broken Presents"-of course that is what my first blog was about so that is pretty cool. Maybe I could be a devotion writer. They always need people at work to write reflections I am sure. Definitely something to think about.

James 1: 26 If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not [ab]bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.

In this passage "bridle" is also translated into control. WOW is this something I need to work on. I am so quick to go into "sailor" mode and to just let things fly out without thinking first or calming my tongue first. It is so hard. But it is something that I would like to change about myself. Just like I give John a hard time that he will have road rage and cuss at someone on the way to church. It doesn't matter if it is on the way to church or work or sitting in the living room talking to John, God is all around and I should be ashamed of the way I speak in front of Him. Good lesson for today!

Dear God, I love you so much, help me to control my tongue-let me use my voice for praises of you and not of the wickedness I have come so accustomed to speak. Let my words be an encouragement to people and let them know that I have been in worship with you today by my actions and words. I pray for John the same prayer that he may see how his words can be stingy sometimes. Thank you for all of the gifts and blessings and grace you have given my family. I pray for safe travels in the upcoming days for all of those of us who are traveling to see family on this special holiday. I pray for calming for Sue as she faces surgery on Monday, that the doctors will be careful and she will heal quickly. Amen

Time....

2 Peter 3:17 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness, 18 but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

This is not part of the devotion I read today but it is later in the chapter of 2 Peter that was the reading for today. The reading was more about the end of times, which is something I don't like thinking about. I don't like thinking about when I will die. It isn't something I hope that many people think about-unless you are my Granny and are ready to go see my Papaw that has been gone 7 years now.

I do need to think about how time has grown on me and that I am not as young as I once was, like I was saying yesterday-my life is short-I have so many things going against me that I will not live forever but I want to work on that in the coming year for both me and John. I want to loose weight and get healthy so that we are together forever and at the same time grow our faith that we will be together in the next life that God has for us as well. I do need reminding that our lives are but a flicker in the world and that it is up to us to do what we need to do to stay on the earth long enough for Jesus return-but if we die before then we can relish in the glory that we will have eternal life with Him! How exciting is that! How can I get depressed when knowing that I have such a promise to live for!

Thank you God for your love-Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share our church yesterday with Doris, I do pray for her for your strength and love to envelope her and know that she has so much to live for. I pray for strength for all of those who are going through saddness of lost loved ones (both living and dead) that they will see Your love and grace and know that we are all loved by the King and that Jesus has come to save us from the darkness of our lives because of You!

Can't do this myself-You are the only one who can undo what I have become!

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. 10 For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. 11 Furthermore, if two lie down together they [e]keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

How do I spend my time? That is the question that is from this weeks EWomens devotional. How we should spend our rime with fellow believers. I have found that since I have been involved more in church and attending my women's bible study it has helped me in my walk with Jesus. I have seen a significant change in myself as far as who I want to spend time with and who I don't and what I choose to do. Before I was on my journey it was a lot of loneliness and sadness. Not that I don't have sadness now but it is a different kind of sadness. It is more of a sadness of incompleteness of my own life and the frustration of not hearing God when He speaks to me. (He spoke yesterday! Thank you Lord for the blessing you have given John and I that he now may have closure in this accident.)

It is interesting that the one devotional I have speaks of how you spend your time and the other is about being worn out...I often feel tired and can't seem to get the energy I need to do what I need to do as far as exercise. I know it is an excuse that I have played out way to many times. I pray today for energy and strength. Knowing that once I do start to age more that I will never be as energetic as I am now-and I hope that when I start the journey of weight loss again in the new year I will gain more energy to take better care of myself and my family. I will be no use to my family dead!

Thank you God for all of your blessings, help me to not waste a minute of my time. Show me the nuggets of time you have set aside for me to share your word in my everyday interactions. Help me to be strong to show Your glory to others and how amazing your grace and love are!

Following the star

The beginning of the good news of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.As it is written in the prophet Isaiah, “See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way; the voice of one crying out in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight,’” Mark 1:1-3

I started this blog after reading a great devotional site that I found today for Advent. This verse has really inspired me and has spoken to me. I have lately felt like that voice crying out in the wilderness but I have been to focused on what my voice is saying and not enough of listening to what God is trying to say to me. I tend to forget that He is always with me and that my path is planned and that He is in control of the path that my life will take and it is frivolous for me to try to control things that I can't. Ultimately everything will happen in Gods time and not my own. Ephesians 2:10-For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

Thank you God for your perfect timing. Thank you for sending the ultimate gift of your Son to save us from the darkness of the world. Thank You for sending the ultimate gift of Your Son to save us from the darkness of ourselves and for the redemption that we can cherish in knowing that You have planned our way and that we shouldn't worry about what the outcome will be. Let us(me) not be discouuraged and now that You have always been our Father in heaven and be encouraged that you have made our path for us to live in the Glory of You. Amen!

Forgotten Gifts

At this time in my life I have gotten so bogged down with the "stuff" in my life that I want, that I forget about the gifts that I have. This last few months I have walked around in a fog focusing on what I think I want out of my life next. Why hasn't this job called and why aren't things moving as fast as I want them to. I have gotten so distracted that I feel like I am missing the gifts that I already have.

I need to get back in to perspective and live for the life that has been so graciously given to me and not forget that God is always with me. That He has given me these gifts and that I need to appreciate them.

I don't ever want to get to the place where I forget the One true gift that He has given me and that is my eternal life through Jesus. That He brought Jesus to the world that we may live forever in glory of Him and through Him. That gift is the most important thing to cling to and yet I still forget. I forget and feel like a selfish 2 year old kicking and screaming and crying "What's next!" "What else do you have for me". Which is the reason I have started this new blog. My last blog was how I was feeling before and never really something that I had done before. My hope for this one is to gain a new place to remember these forgotten gifts and look forward to the new ones that are coming our way.